More sex with my husband

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Although many experts believe that a majority of marriages today are in distress because of financial reasons, problems with sex and sexuality rank high, too. In fact, the topic of sex is the number one problem discussed in online relationship forums. It seems easier to talk to a stranger online than to your own partner!

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What should I do? Because women in this situation defy the stereotype, they sometimes feel shame and inadequacy. I must not be pretty or sexy enough.

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Every relationship can go through dry spells when your partner is suddenly less interested in sex than you. It may a short-term problem related to stress at work or other issues that have driven your partner to distraction. Even more commonly, a sudden, hectic schedule—ranging from end-of-year exams to a do-or-die work deadline—can leave your partner exhausted and uninterested in anything more than sleep or a night in front of the TV.

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When it comes to love, it pays big to pay it forward. Sometimes, when you give a truly selfless gift, what you get in return is your own heart's greatest desire. In other words, I didn't give my husband those beads because I wanted more sex.

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When it comes to sex, he has been, and still is, a year-old boy. I started our relationship as a willing participant, but after years of his whining, cajoling, screaming, and disrespect, I lost interest. Years ago, I decided to keep the relationship and family intact by agreeing to sex once a week.

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Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.

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Many elements go into sustaining a happy, healthy marriage, and sex is one of them. It's normal for a couple to have different levels of sexual desire and for sex to go through phases during a marriage. Demanding careers, children and conflicting schedules can all take their toll on a couple's sex life.

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In the movie Far From Heaven, four young housewives discuss their sex lives over lunchtime daiquiris. The boldest of the group coaxes the others to reveal how often their husbands want to make love. Can you imagine?

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Life happens, which means dry spells happen, am I right? No biggie—unless that dry spell morphs into more of a, well, severe drought. Can't remember the last time you wanted to have sex with your husband or partner?

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When life gets busy, one of the first things to go in a relationship is sex. Couples are too tired, too full, too stressed, too distracted. Simply put: not in the mood. We get it -- there are a million and one legitimate reasons not to have sex tonight, tomorrow or the day after that.


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