Adult daughter problems

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I feel constant frustration and powerlessness regarding my relationship with my daughter, whom I have loved dearly since the day she was born when she was pretty like a doll and looked at me in a very direct and critical way already. She is still good looking, but not in a flashy way and she is not the sort to make much of it. I am 68 and my daughter is

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Editor's Note: Every Wednesday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.

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In the media and in society, I believe that the emphasis on youth frequently leads us to overlook the experience of parents who become increasingly anxious and depressed as they watch their adult children struggle to create satisfying lives. Parents often come to see me because they are uncomfortable with their feelings about their adult children. Eric was suffering when he came to see me.

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Question: I am the mother of a year-old daughter. Our relationship is very strained. She repeatedly speaks to me with sarcastic intonations in spite of my numerous requests for her to "try to talk nice. I end up helping her and my son-in-law mostly in the interest of helping my grandchildren.

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This girl is in her 40's and is quite a bit of a drama queen. I have gotten on well with her for some 14 years until last 4th of July weekend. We are retired and are going to move down by them and she invited us that we could stay there while looking for home.

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Not every mother-daughter relationship reads like a Hallmark card, and our culture makes that a shameful secret to bear. It is no accident, then, that the first round of truly adult separation not teenage rebellion begins to rear its head somewhere around 30 for women and the menopause years for their mothers. For the first time, the veil begins to lift and we see each other for the women we have become.

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I frequently see older female clients who are struggling with getting along with their daughters or daughters-in-law. Here are some of the more common issues, from the mother's perspective:. I feel for these women, as they are obviously in distress.

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A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart, it don't mean a thing.

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Think how best you can open a constructive conversation with your daughter about her behaviour at home. Photograph: Thinkstock Images. Q We need help in dealing with our year-old daughter who is still very rebellious at home.

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Mother-daughter relationships are complex and diverse. Some mothers and daughters are best friends. Others talk once a week.


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