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Hey, cutie. Just wanted to let you know that this story originally ran in our August issue, so if you like what you see, you should probably snag a hard copy ASAP. To some, this makes me a monster.

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What do you get when you combine a robotic arm, an Oculus Rift headset and a tube for want of a better word? A fully immersive sex simulator called the VR Tenga. First demonstrated in November at a conference in Japan, the VR Tenga finally makes it possible to receive a "robot handjob", which adds a new dimension to the idea of robots taking over our jobs.

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In a draughty room decorated with children's drawings above a church hall, in a large town in the Home Counties, Richard is leaning forward on a creaky wooden chair, talking to four other men and two women. This is a meeting of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous SLAAone of a handful of British groups based on the Alcoholics Anonymous steps programme, set up to support the apparently ever-growing number of people, addicted to sex. The AA's 12 steps include members admitting their problem and making amends to those they have harmed.

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Friends, put on your flak jackets. The truth about love is: it happens. A lot. Love is just not all that concerned with appropriateness.

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For the travelling executive in need of intimacy or the long-distance couple seeking to let off steam, relief will be found in hi-tech goo. With a few judicious squirts of a bio-gel containing billions of nanobots and a wi-fi connection, mutual orgasm is reached via a layer of shape-shifting ectoplasm. Of course, the partners at each end of the gel-based romp will only be with each other as the result of a DNA analysis which helpfully narrowed down their choice of a compatible mate to a dozen-strong shortlist.

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